I'm starting on pieces for my portfolio and getting back into creating fine art pieces on a regular basis is going to take some getting used to. Over the last several years I've only done a handful of pieces, unsure of myself, my abilities, and what I wanted to be when I grew up. It's difficult to gain confidence in yourself if you don't try and don't put yourself out there. Fear of rejection is sterilizing, and not believing yourself capable of creating "good art" feeds the fear of rejection.

I'm finding that "good art" is subjective. Certainly there are technical aspects that are generally considered the correct way of doing certain things, but it's also understood and expected that those rules are really guidelines and they are expected to be bent and broken. One of my teachers in college told me that in order to break the rule, you must first understand it. I'm not entirely sure that I agree with this, certainly there are self taught artists who have never conventionally learned the "correct" way of doing something, and have instead done something different, and some of them are extremely successful artists.

For me I've held a lack of self confidence that I am slowly starting to overcome. I'm beginning to realize that I am a better artist than I give myself credit for, and I could become a great artist with practice, exploration of new media, and exploration of myself. I am beginning to try new things, to revisit old things, and to try to find my own style.

I think the thing that I enjoy most about creating art is trying new things. I'm the type of person that wants to try everything. To create art in every medium. While I might find that there are some things I don't seem to have a knack for, there are even more that I find I truly enjoy.

I currently have a goal to prepare a portfolio that reflects my versatility as an artist, my own personal style, and my eagerness to learn and explore. My portfolio will ultimately be a dynamic exploration of art, and to achieve this I plan to complete at least one piece a week. Eventually I will get into the rhythm and simply not stop creating, and that is what I would like to ultimately do.